I’m Queer!

Table of Contents:

  1. Pronouns
  2. Identities and labels
  3. Titles and other words

I’m queer , and I’m noisy about it!

I started testosterone on , and I was desexed on . I freed the nips on . I plan to get metoidioplasty and possibly also phalloplasty in the next few years.

the asexual flag the bisexual flag the genderqueer flag the intersex flag the transgender flag

My pronouns

In order of preference: it/its, ze/hir, they/them (pl.), he/him.

My pronouns and their declensions
Subject Object Possessive Pos. determiner Reflexive
it it its its itself
ze hir hirs hirs hirself
they them their theirs themselves
he him his his himself

In general, use the in/animate non-human / object / [etc.] pronoun in your language for me, e.g.:

and so on.

If there is no non-human pronoun, use the closest gender neutral pronoun, standardised or not, e.g.:

Last resort, use the masculine pronoun, e.g.:

Words

Many of my labels can’t really be neatly sorted into ‘sexual orientation’ vs ‘gender’, and are often quite contradictory (it’s the DID, I guess). So instead of categorising them, I’m just going to list them in alphabetical order :

Aegosexual (or autochorissexual)
Coined by Dr. Anthony Bogaert as autochorissexual, aegosexuality is “a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein”. In short, it’s arousal without attraction. (Stay tuned for an essay coming on this!)
Agender
Having no gender, or a completely neutral gender. (see Nonbinary.wiki)
Androgyne (or androgynous)
Some people have a strict “androgyne = mix of male & female” definition of androgyne, but I like to use it in a way that is generally synonymous with genderqueer. A neat (but defunct) website I stumbled upon is Androgyne Online, who seems to define androgyne in a similar fashion.
Aplatonic
Feeling little to no platonic attraction (see Aromanticism.org)
Asexual*
Not being attracted to anyone, of any gender or presentation. (see Asexuality.org)
Bear
“[…] gay men who defiantly challenge society’s ideal of physical appearance, who celebrate the fact that they are often large, hairy, and don’t give a hoot about what fashions are parading down the runway.” — Ron Suresha, from the blurb of Bears on Bears (2002).
Bisexual* (bi+)
Attraction regardless of gender; attraction to more than two genders or presentations. (see bisexual resource center)
Brotherboy
A word used by some Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples to describe people not born male who have male souls (see TransHub’s page on trans mob)
Butch
Queering masculinity (see Butch Voices [site is down as of writing])
Demisexual
Technically a modifier and not an orientation, demisexual means I must have some form of connection with a person before it’s possible for me to be attracted to them. (see Demisexuality.org)
Genderqueer
“[L]iterally queer gender, including anyone who felt the way they experienced or expressed gender was queer” (see Nonbinary.wiki)
Greysexual
“[A] term referring to any sexuality that occupies the “grey area” between strictly asexual and strictly allosexual” (see Asexuality Handbook)
Intergender
Has had many definitions, but the one I use is this: “a gender identity/modifier phrase that explicitly denotes the experiences that being intersex has had on one’s gender identity. It can modify someone’s gender identity (i.e. intergender demiboy) or it can suffice to say that it is the identity as a whole (i.e. I am intergender because being intersex practically is my gender experience).” (see interpunked)
Intersex
“Intersex people have innate sex characteristics that don’t fit medical and social norms for female or male bodies, and that create risks or experiences of stigma, discrimination and harm.” (see Intersex Human Rights Australia)
Polyamorous
A person who is polyamorous is “someone who has or is open to having more than one romantic relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all their partners.” (see More Than Two)
Salmacian
A person who has, or wants to have, mixed genitals through surgery (e.g. penile-preserving vaginoplasty) (see A Brief History of Salmacians)
Transgender (or transsexual, etc.)
Being any gender other than (or in addition to) the one you were assigned at birth (see TransHub)
T4T
A trans person who centres other trans+ people in their relationships.

* Note: I don’t use the split attraction model. Essentially, I don’t categorise my attraction into sexual or romantic or otherwise, and I opt to use the more ‘traditional’ -sexual suffixes for orientation words.

Titles and other words

This is a little page on a niche website, so I doubt anyone reading (if anyone is!) will have reason to use a formal title for me. But here are the ones I like, anyway:

  1. Ce., an abbreviation of canine. Pronounced see or key (coined by me).
  2. Cn., also an abbreviation of canine. Pronounced sin or kin (also coined by me).
  3. Mir.
  4. Mx.
  5. Mau (Deutsch / German)
  6. Misc.

See Nonbinary.wiki’s page on gender neutral titles for more info.